Ok, let’s make it simple
I don’t know what to do.
If I try, only try to think what would happen, I really can’t imagine anything.
Maybe I’ll pass the exam, maybe not. However, something’s gonna change, and it’s the only thing that I can define ‘certain’.
And that’s the point: good change, or bad change ?
I really don’t know.
What if I’ll leave and go away, to study or to work ?
What if I’ll stay here ?
Nobody can say to me what would happen, me neither.
A part of me is saying “just don’t give a fuck about anything, take care of yourself and no other”
But another part of me tells me to concentrate, to analize everything, and choose the right thing.
I mean, the right thing NOT for me, but for my family.
Because, even if you can say that I’m selfish, I’m not.
I always put my family and my friends before me.
And I’m here because of this.
Maybe, if I were really selfish, now I wouldn’t be here writing about what to do.
But I am like this, such an altruist person.
I wonder why.
I wonder why I have to make the most important choise of my life, thinking of what it’ll bring to others.
Yeah, that’s annoying.
But what can I do ?
I never did a thing thinking only about myself.
Maybe it’s time to change.
Or maybe not.
Or maybe, it’s time to put an end to this.
To put an end to the whole everything.
I’ve no faith in me.
I’m a pessimist, with a giant inferiority complex.
What should I do ??
I really don’t know